| How to Celebrate Festivus Dec 22nd 2012, 16:00 Not inspired to celebrate the holidays in the traditional style? You can resist holiday commercialism and stresses while still getting together with your loved ones by celebrating Festivus. This "Festivus for the rest-of-us was" popularized on the TV show Seinfeld and continues to draw fans of anything out of the ordinary. Set aside the day of December 23rd and break out the meat loaf, because Festivus is upon us! Setting Up for Festivus - Purchase the Festivus centerpiece––a single aluminum pole. This "anti-holiday" goes in the opposite direction of Chanukah and Christmas by celebrating without frills or grandeur.
- Dig through the garage, basement or attic for the pole. Festivus is about low fuss and muss so repurposing an item you already own is in spirit. Possible Festivus poles include an old lamp pole, curtain rod or even a long aluminum baseball bat if all else fails.
- Set up the aluminum pole. This is the centerpiece of the party so set up your pole in a central area of the room or your home.
- Don't decorate the Festivus pole. According to Seinfeld character George Costanza's father, "Instead, there's a pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting."
- Don't enhance or polish the pole––the dingier the better.
- Hit the grocery store for the traditional Festivus goodies. Every holiday has its own culinary traditions and Festivus is no different.
- Find "red" food. The traditional Festivus main course is typically something rich and red, such as meat loaf, spaghetti and meatballs or another favorite, "Beefarino."
- Select side dishes which can include tuna on toast, soup (like bouillabaisse, mulligatawny or turkey chili), airline peanuts and pretzels.
- Choose a special dessert. Amongst the choices include black and white cookies, babka or wedding cake.
- Prepare an area to perform "feats of strength." Since the "feats of strength" portion of the celebration includes a bit of physical interaction, you'll want a room cleared of valuable (and breakable) items. If you plan to hold an arm wrestling competition, be sure you have a low, flat surface to accommodate the activity.
Celebrate Festivus - Serve dinner. Don't worry about a table-scape or designing a gorgeous place setting; instead embrace the essence of Festivus and break out the paper plates and use paper towels for napkins.
- Serve food in original containers for best effect. Don't transfer pretzels to a pretty bowl; instead, just leave them in the bag and allow your guests to eat straight from the bag.
- Bringing in fast food is always a viable option for Festivus. Some examples include Arby's, KFC, the local take out store, or if you live in NYC, Papaya King Hot Dogs.
- Embrace the "Airing of Grievances" portion of the celebration. Festivus is the time of year when you let your angst and annoyances all "hang out." Guests are free to air their irritations at any time during the celebration, whether it's before, during or after dinner.
- If guests are feeling intimidated about letting out their grievances, allow everyone to anonymously write down a grievance or two on a piece of paper. Place all the grievances in a hat and have guests randomly draw and read the complaints aloud.
- Bolder guests can let their grievances rip.
- End the evening with a "Feats of Strength" activity, tested between the guests. Typically following the "Airing of Grievances" portion of the celebration, "Feats of Strength" is meant to end the evening once the head of the household has been wrestled and pinned to the floor (as per George Costanza's father, Frank).
- Hold an arm wrestling competition. Pit guest against guest with winners taking on each other until you have an ultimate victor.
- Thumb wrestling is fine if arm wrestling doesn't seem viable. For a more tentative group, thumb wrestling is possibly a better idea. Make sure only one hand is involved as cheating is discouraged.
- Compete playing traditional or video games. Darts, horse shoe or even by breaking out the Wii can be used in the "Feats of Strength" portion of the party.
- Call attention to any "Festivus miracles". A Festivus miracle is any ordinary and easily explainable event.
- Send everyone home. Hopefully they'll be fully vented and conveniently nourished.
- Add your own flair and flavor to Festivus or start a new tradition.
- Don't worry about gift giving for Festivus––the day is meant to celebrate the non-traditional meaning of the season.
- Never use any dangerous materials (i.e. fire or dangerous activities), drinking or drugs when performing "Feats of Strength."
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