| How to Deal with Loud College Roommates Jan 30th 2013, 08:00 Loud college roommates keeping you up at night? While it may seem a challenge asking your roommate to pipe down, it's something you'll need to tackle to restore some peace and sanity to your living arrangements. Here are some suggestions to help you out. - Ask nicely. Consider that your roommate might not even be aware that they are "too noisy"––possibly their interpretation of what is noisy and what isn't is somewhat different from yours. As such, explaining your experience will help them to better understand. If your roommate is keeping you up or distracting you from studying, take a minute to explain what irritates you and why you find the noise intrusive. If your roommate cares about you, they will stop.
- Explain your situation in a calm and friendly manner.
- Don't shout or make accusations. Stick to the facts––have prepared a list of exact examples, with times and the type of noise, to explain why each noisy incident interfered with your study, sleep and downtime.
- Focus on the big picture of solving the problem. Nagging about the little things or making mean-spirited remarks could cause the situation to spiral out of control. The last thing you need is more noise as a result of resentment!
- Set mutually agreed ground rules. It's best to establish these rules as soon as possible, especially if you haven't already done so. Most importantly, focus on when it is not okay to be noisy. Here on some noise related issues these rules should address:
- Talking on the phone (or Skype). Where one roommate is studying, where should the other roommate have phone conversations? Inside the room? Outside the room?
- Visitors. Since visitors can be noisy and distracting, it may help to set up visiting hours or set up an alert system.
- Playing music. Is there a set time for playing music without earphones, or for practicing an instrument? Or would both of you prefer it is always done outside of the room?
- When someone is asleep. Make a rule that sleeping people be left undisturbed. That means, no noise until the person is awake.
- Give your roommate alternatives. Rather than trying to lay down your own preferences as law, seek a compromise by offering alternatives that you feel you can live with.
- If your roommate plays loud music, suggest that they use headphones or agree to only playing music at a certain time of night.
- If your roommate snores, suggest that they get a snore stopping mouth guard. These work, but are tricky to find; have a look online.
- Buy your roommate some decent headphones for their music. Not that subtle but perhaps effective!
- Stand your ground. If your roommate still doesn't tone down the noise after you have made several requests, don't give up. You could try reopening the discussion a few days later, pointing out how things have not improved since the last discussion. If you still find that this doesn't get you anywhere, proceed to the next step of calling in outside help.
- Mention the situation to your Resident Adviser (or similar potential neutral mediator). This person can facilitate a meeting between you and your roommate. The Resident Adviser can also offer suggestions about how to respect each other's space.
- Make sure you tell your roommate before you contact your Resident Adviser. Otherwise, you'll be going above your roommate's head and this can cause resentment.
- Leave your room. This may be the simplest situation if you find that the noisy situation remains ongoing. Getting out of the room when your roommate is doing something that irritates you might not feel fair but if it gets you the quiet space needed to get your studies done, it's worth the effort. Make a plan, so that you quickly know where to go the next time your roommate gets noisy.
- Study in the library or the computer lab.
- Visit a friend's room or the student center if you just need to escape.
- See if there is a local cafe with a low level of noise for occasional study visits.
- Get earplugs. If they work, you might be able to totally zone out even with the noisiest of activities in your room. You might also need an eye mask for sleeping, to avoid seeing distracting movements.
- Apply for a room change. If the noisy situation doesn't stop, ask for a room change or "switch" with someone else. It would be better to change rooms than to be kept awake all night through the semester, as this will affect your grades badly.
- Another alternative may be to ask the offending roommate to leave. Read the rules of your dorm to see what's possible.
- If you can't get a room change, ask a friend if you could stay with them. This might be a temporary arrangement just to get you through exams or to catch up on lost sleep. It might also give you the space needed to find more permanent lodgings elsewhere.
- Develop some tolerance for the noise produced by other people. You'll be rooming for years, then probably sitting in cubicles or open spaces for many more years. Getting used to the noise of others is a very helpful skill for life.
- Do not get mad at the loud person, it may be their personality, and getting mad would make them mad, and cause a fight.
- If there are disagreements when making the ground rules, consider letting the compromise err on the side of the person actually studying.
- See if any neighboring dorms are being bothered by the noise. You might be able to get a few others to ask for the noise to be toned down a little.
- Some people find masking noises can help. Play repetitive New Age, calming or classical music on your MP3, tablet or computer as a way of "drowning out" the other noise.
Edit Warnings - Do not cause a fight trying to get the other person to quiet down, deal with it normally.
- Angry responses may cause the other person to get defensive. Remember that they may not even get that their noise bothers you and even if they do, they might think you're stoic since you haven't yet complained. Explain calmly, above all.
- Using earphones to drown out noise can impact your hearing health. Don't turn it up too loudly for prolonged periods.
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