| How to Turn a Girl Friend Into a Girlfriend Jan 11th 2013, 16:00 She's so fine that girl friend of yours. And suddenly, one day you feel more than just friendly feelings. You find yourself attracted to her, you want to flirt, you'd love to become the romantic part of her life. But wait buddy, is this the right way to go? If you don't gauge things right, it could be the end of a beautiful friendship. You'll need to approach turning a girl friend into a girlfriend steadily, with consideration and honesty. Are you ready to commit to this? Let's see.
Considering her feelings - Analyze her carefully. Your bolt from the blue realization may be light years from her own feelings about you. After all, yesterday you were both friends, while today, at least one of you has shifted into new territory. Has she given you any indication that she might be interested in something deeper than platonic friendship? Have you seen signs of flirting or wanting to be close all the time? Or does she act the way she always has done, friendly, attentive and affectionate but only in the way of a good friend?
- Be realistic. It is not uncommon to find yourself in a situation where you like a girl as more than a friend, but she still just likes you as a friend. In some cases, there is nothing you can do about this. You'll either have to accept it as continuing friendship and do your best to move on from your feelings, or you'll need to be very patient and hope things change. What you can do if you sense that things could tip into deeper feelings, is to "sow the seeds". Subtly and gradually help her to start seeing you in a more romantic light, giving her the signals that you're willing and available. Some of the following ideas may help you achieve this.</ref>
Helping her to see your romantic value - Take care of your appearance. Make sure you look your best. If you haven't taken a lot of care about your appearance around her before, this will be a good immediate signal that you've taken things up a notch. But it's nice to look your best anyway, as it increases your confidence too.
- Increase the playfulness. While you may already have a fun relationship, humor can be a path to winning her heart. Try joking around more often and being playful in her presence. Tell her things that are genuinely really funny and help her to see that you're the kind of guy who loves to find the humor and fun in life. Glance at her in suggestive ways, then laugh when she starts looking serious about it (don't come across as a staring oddball.)
- Find ways to compare your relationship to other funny people you know in real life or in entertainment circles. Even better if these people are romantically attached. Examples of some famous couples brought together by comedy include: Amy Poehler and Will Arnett, Anna Faris and Chris Pratt and Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann.
- Sometimes tickle games can work but be careful. If you come across as trying to "cop a feel", you're doomed. Moreover, not all girls like tickling. Take your cue from her responsiveness and never overdo it even if she does like it. Be prepared to be tickled in turn.
- Increase the physical contact. You may already be quite affectionate toward one another. However, it's now time to amp up the contact in ways that could be considered flirtatious without crossing the line. For example, aim to touch her at least three times each time you meet up with her. Touch for no longer than two to three seconds (long enough for it to register subconsciously) and only touch her where it won't be uncomfortable, such as her hand, shoulder or neck.
- Share food. The act of sharing one another's food when out dining or having a snack is intimate and can increase the chances of closeness.
- Hugs are good. They express friendship but also help increase the closeness that might help you to become more than friends.
- Offer to brush her hair. This may seem simple but it can cause her to melt.
- Be useful. Do things for her, like help her out whenever you can. This could be anything from housework and maintenance to homework and preparing for interviews. Helpfulness is a sign of being considerate, which is very sexy.
- Being useful and helpful does not mean be bossy or superior. If she can do something herself, admire her ability openly rather than suggest you could do it better. Nothing scares off a potential romantic interest than arrogance or belittling.
- Listen to her attentively. Don't just sit there and nod your head pretending to listen. Girls love it when you listen and take the time to truly understand them. Not only that, but listening will benefit the potential future relationship and also strengthen your current friendship. Show her that you can be boyfriend material by being a gentleman.
Increasing the romance odds - Invite her to parties. If you both like to dance and spend time partying, offer to be her date. It may be reassuring for her at first to have someone familiar by her side, while the rhythm of the party and the natural excitement of the event might help to turn things your way.
- Take care when asking her to ask you to her parties. Take your cue from whether she's the sort of person who doesn't mind being asked such favors or someone who might find it overbearing.
- Close the gap. Use your body language to get closer to her as you get stronger signals that she's interested. Lean your shoulders towards her, lean on her very gently, face her often and use touch frequently. Again, hugs are always good!
- Take care not to fall into or on her, to grab her or to squeeze or hold her too hard.
- Play footsie. This should only happen when you are sure she's got the message and has started to reciprocate your amorous intent. It's cheeky, titillating and fun when the moment is right.
- Remember details about her by heart. Good ones to remember include her birthday, siblings, phone number, favourite food, favourite colors, hobbies, ambition and things that she has already told you. Write down these important details if your memory is not good; it may help jog your memory just before important chats.
- Start adding kisses to your emails and texts. While many people use these symbols with wild abandon, a male friend who suddenly starts using them is an eyebrow raiser. Yes, it does have deep significance.
- Leave her wanting your presence more. Don't spend too much time around her. Instead, spend lots of time, and then none for a while, then more again, and flirt while you are there. While you are gone, she is given a chance to think about you, which hopefully she will.
- Spend more time with her when she is happy than when she is sad. This helps her to associate happiness with you. If you are successful in making her your girlfriend, that's when it becomes important to support her when she needs it.
- Be flirtatious. Gradually increase your flirting ways, provided you're getting the right signals in return. Let things happen naturally.
Avoiding the friend zone - Be clear. The problem often lies in being nice, as friends usually are. Niceness is an admirable quality in friendship but it's bland when it comes to passion and love. Being nice rather than flirtatious and daring will give her the impression that you are a great friend, but not a great lover. If you keep it up, you'll most likely get stuck in the friend zone. The answer? You really need to flirt more! And if you don't think you're any good at flirting, don't worry––flirting is, and should be, playful and fun.
- Take her side when it's warranted. Stand up for her in front of others. It will leave a lasting, good impression.
- You may like to let her make the first move after flirting. This makes things certain between the two of you.
- Be nice to her and call her every once in awhile, maybe like, 2-3 times a week. Then stop calling her for one or two days. Then go back to calling her or text message her. Sooner or later, she'll be missing all the attention and she will start to make a move. Give her some attention.
Edit Warnings - There is always a risk that a friendship will die in the pursuit of turning it romantic. That's a risk you need to weigh up considering the vibes you're receiving, the length of time you've known each other and the realistic nature of turning your friendship into something more intimate. Listen to your gut feelings and watch all the clues from her side with great attentiveness.
- It is incredibly hard to turn friendship with a woman into something romantic. Part of this is based on the fact that women treasure platonic friendships with men because they feel able to raise questions and issues about male things without being judged or taken advantage of. It can also come as a completely disturbing shock that a male friend wants to take things further after months or years of trusting the friendship at the platonic level. Proceed with great caution and be absolutely sure that this is a change you truly want.
- Be careful. In some cases, you might fail to turn the friendship into loving coupledom. However, the two of you may grow close enough to have a sexually convenient relationship known as "friends with benefits". This means that you're not attached romantically but remain friends who occasionally have sex. This can work for some but for many, it can be painful, especially if one partner cares more deeply than the other. It can also turn into a relationship of being used rather than caring for one another.
- If you get the vibe that she's not interested, pull back for a time. You might even need to give up on pursuing her. At all times be prepared to discuss your intentions and be open and honest.
- Take care not to cross the line when touching her more frequently. Observe the rule of non-sexual touching only, for brief moments and keep it affectionate. It's sexual harassment if she asks you to stop and you don't, or if you touch her in sexually provocative ways without her consent.
- If she is shy, be extra considerate. Don't misinterpret her shyness as a reason for overriding her preferences. If she says she's not interested, respect that.
- Avoid acting desperate. It's obvious from a mile away and it will lower her estimation of you for good.
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