Feb 4, 2013

How to Get Rid of Things™: How to Clean a Hairless Cat

How to Get Rid of Things™
A do-it-yourself guide dedicated to helping you prevent or remove common annoyances from your life.
How to Clean a Hairless Cat
Feb 5th 2013, 04:45

icanhazcheeseburger.comSupplies: cat shampoo

Warm, dry towel to dry the cat afterward

An additional three warm dry towels (to clean up the surrounding mess)

Cat treats

Clothes you don't mind being soaped on, splashed on, or clawed on

This post is the follow up to my original article: How to Clean Cats. Just as terrifying? You be the judge.

 

Step one: Make sure the room you plan to do the cleaning in is both very warm and waterproof. There will be a spray. Dress accordingly Also, hairless cats have a higher than typical body temperature. This makes them particularly susceptible to the cold. Block all drafts. Make sure the air temperature, as well as surface temperatures, is warm. Why, you ask? Ever sit on a cold toilet seat? That's why.

Step two: Clean the sink/tub/basin/bucket that you will be cleaning the cat in. People soaps and shampoos can be irritating to a cat's skin. This is particularly true of a hairless cat. Afterward, fill it with warm water and a small amount of cat shampoo. The water should be no higher than the cat's tummy. Never submerge a cat unless your dismemberment and/or its death are your desired outcomes.

Step three: Spent fourteen minutes chasing the cat around the house. When you've successfully captured the cat, add him to the warm water. Try and keep all four paws in the water to soak off any dirt and contaminants around his claws and between the toes.

Step four: Add some more water to the tub to warm it up a little. Much heat was lost chasing said cat around the house.

Step five: Barricade all exits, even if you think your cat won't attempt them. My cat once tried to climb the shower curtain out of the tub. Do not attempt to the leave the cat; he will leave you. One second unattended and you may likely not find the cat for an hour or three.

Step five and a half: Chase cat around and around the bathroom. Get on your hands and knees to bring him out from behind the toilet, sopping wet and growling. (No, this isn't a misplaced modifier. You will both be sopping wet and growling.) Put his feet back in the water.

Step six: Rub a small amount of cat shampoo in your hands. Massage it gently over the cat's neck, legs, and body. At this point, some hairless cats will purr. Hope that you are lucky enough to have one of these. This is when the howling starts at my place.

Step seven: Rinse off with clean, warm water. Mind the spray. And the wriggles. And the desperate grabs and lunges for escape. The cat, as well, will be squirming.

Step eight: Dry the cat thoroughly with a warm, dry towel.

Step nine: Be sure to place the cat in a warm, dry environment. I typically choose the seat in front of the electric fireplace. This is the only time, during the whole process, that my cat will begin to purr.

Step ten: Generously apply cat treats and beg for forgiveness.

The post How to Clean a Hairless Cat appeared first on How to Get Rid of Things™.

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