| How to French Kiss Feb 13th 2013, 20:00 You've seen it done in the movies and probably even in public — the French kiss, a timeless and passionate gesture of romantic affection. Whether you live in Paris, France or Paris, Texas, you can learn how to kiss like the French do without an embarrassing faux pas! Steps Part One: Basic Techniques - Keep your lips soft. A soft, smooth and slightly-moist mouth is ideal for kissing. Before you move in, try to make sure your lips aren't chapped and dry with these quick fixes:
- Use chapstick. Swipe some over your lips and press them together. (If you're a girl and you have flavored chapstick, all the better!)
- Drink water. Dry lips are a sign of dehydration, so throw back a tall glass of water (or two). You should notice your lips starting to smooth out within 20 to 30 minutes.
- Lick your lips. If you're really in a pinch and have no time to spare, quickly run your tongue over your lips and press them together. This should moisten them slightly without making them slobbery or slick.
- Bonus tip: Make your mouth taste extra appealing. Suck on a breath mint for a few minutes, or swish some water around your mouth and spit it out for a quick rinse. Whoever you kiss will appreciate it!
- Move in. When the moment seems right, seize it and go in for the approach! In general, you should be moving slowly enough that the other person has time to say no, but not so slow that the moment loses its spark.
- When is the moment right? It depends on your individual situation, but here are a few signs to keep in mind:
- The other person keeps dropping hints, like locking eyes and looking at your lips, or standing progressively closer to you.
- You're ending a date that went really well. In the car or on the porch are both good semi-private locations for a kiss.
- It just seems right. If you overwhelmingly compelled to kiss someone, don't be afraid to ask if you're worried about doing it at the wrong moment — better to get permission semi-awkwardly and go ahead with confidence than to risk kissing someone who isn't interested.
- Make eye contact. Gaze deeply into the other person's eyes. If you want to make your intentions extra clear, slowly move your gaze to his or her lips, then back up to the eyes.
- Smile. If you're really excited about the prospect of kissing the other person, show it! A smile keeps the situation light and fun, while helping him or her feel safe and relaxed.
- Take it slow. Move in at a pace that gives the other person a chance to consent (or not). Don't worry about not going quickly — the slow approach builds tension and anticipation.
- Tilt your head slightly to one side. Meeting head-on will result in bumping noses. Instead, just tilt your head slightly to the left or right. If you notice the other person going in one direction, pick the opposite.
- Close your eyes. Just before you make contact, close your eyes. Kissing with your eyes open is generally associated with dishonesty and insincerity.
- Keep your mouth in a kissable position. Don't present a stiff pucker, like you would if you went in to kiss your grandma — not only does it communicate non-romantic feelings, it makes it physically difficult for your partner to initiate a French kiss. On the other hand, keeping your mouth completely loose and still also says that you're not interested. Here's how to hit a happy medium:
- Pucker just a little. Push your lips forward slightly, so that you feel the slightest hint of muscle tension around them.
- Open your mouth slightly. Instead of aggressively going in for a fully open-mouthed kiss at first, keep your lips just barely parted enough that a tongue could slip between them.
- Lightly brush your lips over the other person's. Use feather-light pressure at first, so that your lips are just barely grazing over your partner's. This builds more anticipation and excitement than diving straight into a full-on French kiss.
- Keep your movements slow. A lot of quick, light kisses don't have the same level of sexiness as a barely-restrained build in tension. Act like you have all the time in the world — the kiss will speed up soon enough.
- Test the waters. Once you've built a solid foundation for a French kiss with some tongueless kissing, you can give the other person some subtle hints that you're ready to take it up a notch.
- Open your mouth more widely. Offering unrestricted access invites the other person to make the first tentative tongue contact.
- Lock lips, so that the other person's lower lip is between your two lips. Then, lightly sweep the tip of your tongue over the lower lip. Do one smooth, swift motion so that the contact lasts for less than a second. If he or she is interested, they'll reciprocate.
- Know when to pull back. If you've tried both of the above techniques and your partner hasn't responded, simply leave it alone until next time and focus on regular kissing. Avoid making a big deal of it, or guilting him or her.
- Explore with your tongue. If the other person seems interested, go ahead and start French kissing for real. Remember to keep your tongue in motion and your touches light.
- Stay playful. "Tag" the other person's tongue lightly and retreat back, inviting him or her to make the next move.
- Tongues are loaded with nerve endings, and the mere act of touching your partner's tongue with your own will be very pleasant.
- Don't go too deep — jamming your tongue down the other person's throat is a big turn-off. Stay shallow and light at first.
- Breathe. If you're kissing for an extended period, it's easy to forget to breathe. Believe it or not, gasping and turning blue isn't very romantic. Here's how to keep up:
- Take small breaths through your nose as you kiss.
- Don't be afraid to take a break. If you do it right, it can still be an intimate and sexy moment. Pull back slightly so that your foreheads are still touching, make eye contact, and smile.
- As you and your partner grow comfortable with the kiss, you can try breathing through your mouth a little: sharing breaths as well can be romantic (but not everybody likes it).
Part Two: Advanced Techniques - Mix it up. Kisses are like snowflakes: no two are exactly the same. Once you feel comfortable French kissing someone, it is tempting to try to do the same thing every time, but resist. Add variety! Here's what you can vary:
- Speed: Varying the speed of your kisses is a good way to try something different without potentially intimidating your partner. Once you've got the slow kiss mastered, try going a little faster for a few seconds — it should leave you both a little breathless!
- Depth: Once you're comfortable with someone, try kissing a little more deeply. The key to pulling this off is keeping your speed under control. Or, if you want things to be a little more flirty and playful, return to shallow kisses.
- Pressure: Like a deep kiss, a hard kiss should be reserved for a situation in which you already know both you and your partner are comfortable. Be a little bit more forceful with your tongue, but be sure to keep it in motion.
- Teeth: You may want to try rubbing the backs or front of the other person's teeth with your tongue. This can create a ticklish feeling that might enhance your kiss. You could also try lightly catching the other person's lower lip with your teeth. Be aware, though, that not everyone likes their kisses with a side of teeth — be prepared to put your chompers away.
- Use your hands. While you should keep your hands polite, especially on a first kiss, you don't necessarily want them just dangling at your sides.
- As a general rule, start with your hands on your partner's hips and then slowly move them around their back or up to the face and hair.
- Another turn-on for the first kiss is to gently caress the other person's shoulder. It shows you are comfortable with him or her.
- Cradle your partner's face with your hands on their cheeks and their neck.
- Or, go for an old standby: simply wrap your arms around your partner in an embrace.
- Read your partner's body language. Everybody kisses a little differently, and each person enjoys different things in a kiss — there is no "right" way to kiss. Good kissing requires give-and-take, so read your partner's body language and pay attention to clues that tell you you're doing something he or she likes.
- Not everybody likes to be kissed the same way, so while your former partner might have enjoyed one method of kissing, your new love might not. You need to learn to read signals and adapt to a style that's comfortable for each of you.
- If your partner pulls away or seems uncomfortable at any time, understand that you have to slow it down.
- Let your partner kiss you back, and move with him or her as long as you're comfortable with what he or she is doing.
- Listen for clues that tell how much your partner is enjoying a particular kissing maneuver. If you hear a sigh or moan, or they begin kissing you back with increased intensity, you're on the right track.
- Practice. Good French kissing, like good kissing of any kind, requires practice. You will get better as you do it more. In addition, the more practice you have with one person, the more comfortable you will feel kissing them and developing a style that suits both of you.
- Communicate. If you really like the way your partner kisses you, let them know. If you don't like something, also let your partner know that, but approach it delicately and compliment them at the same time on something they did that you liked.
- Even if the kiss goes all wrong, it can still be an intimate affair if you can both laugh about it together! Make sure when you kiss you are having fun doing what you are doing.
Video Tips - Be an active partner. If someone is French kissing you and you want them to do so, do not just sit there but get into the kiss. Reciprocate their actions, and alternate taking the lead on the movements of your tongues and lips. If you are uncomfortable with any part of the kiss, do not be afraid to pull away or gently close your lips. This will give your partner the hint.
- There are no rules for how long you should hold a kiss. If you feel uncomfortable at any time, break the kiss; otherwise, just enjoy it until one or both of you slowly pull apart, usually together. It is extremely romantic to lightly suck your partner's upper or bottom lip as you part. You might find yourselves returning to kissing, after each of you takes a breath.
- Freshen your breath. You never want to have bad breath when you are about to kiss someone, whether the kiss is a French kiss or not. Because your mouth will be open in a French kiss, fresh breath is especially important. Practice good dental hygiene. Always have breath mints or mint-flavored gum if you think there is even so much as a hint of a chance you might kiss. Avoid foods that leave an unpleasant aftertaste or residue, particularly garlic, coffee, onions, milk, and corn.
- Excessive saliva can build up during a French kiss, and that can interfere with the romantic moment. Swallow periodically without breaking the kiss. If you have trouble doing that, do not be afraid to pull away for a moment. Smiling when you pull away can reassure your partner that you're just taking a small break, not rejecting their affection.
Warnings - If you ever feel uncomfortable or do not want to move forward with any move your partner is attempting, pull away and let your partner know that you want to stop. Be firm. It's okay to say no.
- You can still French kiss if one or both of you has braces, but you should be careful to prevent the braces from touching each other. Also avoid touching the braces with your tongue (you might accidentally cut it). Check out How to Kiss with Braces.
- Be aware that French kissing may transmit infectious diseases such as herpes and infectious mononucleosis (also known as mono).
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