| Man seeks BFF: How to Start a Bromance Aug 23rd 2012, 16:00 Sometimes awkward, yet always steadfast, a genuine bromance is today's modern way for two straight dudes to say, "I love you, man!"--a close, platonic friendship of love, support and deep affection between two males. If you're a guy who's never had a male BFF, though, finding your bromate can challenging. Whether you're interested in finding the Robin to your Batman or you've recently met a potential best friend, knowing exactly how to start a bromance will get your relationship off to a good start. - Spend more time with guys. Connect with your guy friends through the things you both like to do for work and play, and connect with their friends too. Instead of just having a few beers, watching the game and then just calling it a night, consider asking your bro to check out a new band next week or play Frisbee golf at the park with other friends. Get two tickets to a movie or concert and ask around to see if any guys want to use the free ticket. Even if you don't have guy friends already, some men make new friends through their girlfriends or wives, while others check out the "purely platonic" section of Craigslist. A lot of bromances develop from guys doing things together that their girlfriends/wives aren't interested in: lifting weights at the gym, going to heavy metal shows, playing video games, etc.
- Bond with the bros. Taking the friendship up a notch from acquaintance towards bromance is something that the "typical guy" often struggles with, so here are the basics:
- Spill information that you normally "keep in the vault". A solid bromance should mean that you will have a trusted ally who you can really be yourself with and talk about things that are typically off limits not only to others, but possibly your significant other.
- Ask for advice. It not only shows your buddy that you respect his opinion, but it also makes him feel more invested in how things turn out.
- Keep it mutual. You don't want to be blabbering about your life when you know he probably has a secret or two he could share. Ask him how things are going, especially if your friend seems out of character. Don't prod; a simple "You seem off, dude, is something up?" should do the trick. If he says he's fine, leave it be.
- Keep it casual, at least on the surface.
- Adhere to the unspoken dude code that although you may be having a bromance you don't have to talk about it (first rule of Fight Club). While women usually do a lot of things to publicly reinforce their friendship, guys don't typically run around putting XOs on emails or doing the whole "kiss hello" gesture. Instead, they know that their best bud has their back, will buy you a shot if your girlfriend sends you packing and always knows where to find the best burger. Outward declarations are not necessary.
- Avoid doing anything that gives the impression of a date. Meeting up for dinner together as a first getting to know each other session is just too much like romance––avoid any such connotation and stick to something a bloke would naturally be doing in his spare time instead. If you do end up eating out, stay in the bar or go to a burger joint only. Of course, this doesn't mean you can't ever go out to dinner at some posh place together; it just has to wait for when the two of you are confirmed friends, not when you're still figuring each other out.
- Get your mate's blessing. Many a bromantic tale has been tainted with the issue of a girlfriend getting between a guy and his buddy, so keep this advice in mind even if you're single, for when traditional romance does arise.
- Talk to your girlfriend or wife about wanting a close guy friend. Explain that much in the same way she enjoys her time with her gal pals, you'd be pretty stoked to have a guy friend. In case she's the jealous type, emphasize that a bromance won't take away from your relationship.
- Try to make sure your significant other and your BFF get along. If you're dating someone and it's getting serious, introduce her to your pal early on. Try to find something they have in common, and be careful not to neglect your date in the presence of our buddy.
- Treat your friend's girlfriend or wife with respect, even if you hate her guts. Who your friend decides to be in a relationship with is his business and his choice. Offer him advice if he asks for it, but ultimately, be supportive, not destructive. If you think she's a succubus, be patient. He will figure it out eventually.
- Keep the bromance alive. Every relationship requires TLC, even a bromance. Hang out with your buddy regularly, and make sure a good chunk of that time is without the significant other(s). At the same time, don't get so attached at the hip that you drive each other nuts. Try to find a fun activity you can do together regularly, a manly ritual of sorts: weekly poker night, daily trips to the gym, going to see your favorite band together every time they come through town.
- If you both share a mutual interest that could transform into a business idea, pursue your dreams––you could end up finding both friendship and financial success. However, bad business decisions can rip apart good friends, so tread with care before subjecting your bromance to the tough world of doing business together.
- Intense male friendships have been lauded throughout history, and today many bromance pairs can be found in the public spotlight, in fields such as politics, comedy and acting.[1] It's normal and it's healthy.
Edit Warnings - Awkward moment––mistakes happen and sometimes signals are misread. If your guy friend presumes that you want more than a bromance and is receptive to something more, set him straight quickly to avoid further embarrassment or disappointment. Whether the bromance can survive an open declaration of romantic interest depends on the context, but as with any friendship where things change from friendship to romantic intentions, often a boundary of no returns is crossed and it may be hard to re-establish the friendship. Don't let this possibility hold you back from pursuing a bromance though; sometimes life throws you curve balls but most times, having the trust that things will work out generally allows them to do so.
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