| How to Spoon Someone Oct 12th 2012, 16:00 Named after the way spoons stack together, this cuddling position maximizes intimacy and comfort. Here's how to spoon with a significant someone. - Establish your spoon size. In most spooning positions, you will need to designate a "Little" and a "Big" spoon:
- The Little spoon: This is typically the smaller partner. This position is often considered emasculating, and usually will fall to the feminine partner.
- The Big spoon: This will often be the dominate partner. This is typically the taller or more masculine partner.
- A quick test to figure out which spoon is the big spoon: whomever hugs the other partner while cuddling should be the big spoon. These role aren't always black and white, quite often big spoons will enjoying occasionally being the little spoon.
- Experiment with the entire kitchen drawer. While spooning is just a basic act of cuddling with two partners, that's no excuse for a lack in creativity! Here are just a few types of tried-and-true spoonings that have worked for many a couple:
- Classic Spoon: The "Big" spoon lays on his or her side, and the "Little" spoon puts his or her back to the stomach of the "Big" spoon while also laying on his or her side. While there are variations of what the bottom arm of the "Big" spoon does in this position, it's well accepted within the spooning community that the "Big" spoon's top arm should be wrapped around the waist of the "Little" spoon. See "Arm Placement" below for information on what the "Big" spoon can do with his or her bottom arm.
- The Ol' Ball and Spoon: The Big spoon lays on his or her side, and the little spoon puts his or her back to the stomach of the big spoon while also laying on his or her side. The little spoon should then curl into a fetal position. The Big spoon should then use his or her bottom arm to stretch behind him or her creating a cross, with the top arm laying across the "Little" spoon.
- Big Spoon and Baby Spoon:The big spoon lays on his or her side, and the Little spoon should then curl into a fetal position facing the stomach of the Big spoon. The Big spoon should then hug the Little or Baby spoon with both arms.
- Spoons in a Drawer: The big spoon should lay on his or her back. The "Little" spoon should then lay on top of the "Big" spoon's stomach, face down. For more intimacy, try hugging each other.
- Spork: Taking the same idea behind the "Classic Spoon," try interlocking both spoons' legs so that bottom leg of the "Big" rests on the mattress then the "Little" spoon's bottom leg, then the "Big" spoon's top leg then the "Little" spoon's top leg.
- Upside-Down Y: Both the Little and the Big spoon should press their backs to each other's. This will allow for more personal space (and fresh air) while still providing the "warmth" of your partner.
- Create the right arm placement. This is a crucial part to creating a lasting spooning position. This responsibility usually falls on the "Big" spoon because it is likely his or her arm that will suffer the consequences. Bad arm placement can result in your arm falling asleep or an inability to leave the spooning position.
- The T-Rex Arm happens when two people are spooning on their sides and the "Big" spoon's bottom arm is caught behind the back of the "little" spoon creating a T-Rex arm (bent at the elbow) that has no room to expand.
- Army Arm happens when two people are spooning on their sides and the "Big" spoon's bottom arm is forced to be straight at their side. This is often uncomfortable and creates a barrier between the "Big" spoon's front and the "Little" spoon's back, therefore decreasing intimacy.
- Super Hero Arm happens when two people are spooning on their sides and the "Big" spoon's bottom arm is force to extend straight-up as if he or she was about to fly. While this allow the "Big" spoon to put his or her arm under the neck of the "Little" spoon increasing intimacy, this can quickly lead to a dead arm and leaves little room for the "Big" spoon to escape.
- Hugging Arm happens when two people are spooning on their sides and the "Big" spoon's bottom arm is wrapped around the waist of the "Little" spoon. This can lead to the worst possible scenario: Big spoon's arm falls asleep and Little spoon's too comfortable to wake up and free the "Big" spoon's arm. Amputation is then the only way to break free without waking your partner. If you do try to escape, try explaining why you woke your partner without sounding selfish (Hint: it's not going to happen).
- If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen (without offending your partner). Leaving the cuddling position breaks or "ends" the intimacy of the moment. Pulling out of the position, therefore, must be done in a diplomatic way.
- Fake it so you don't hurt their feelings. Use a fake yawn or a casual sleep "grunt" to establish that you are "doing this in your sleep". This will establish that you are doing this "while sleeping" and not because they are a bad spoon. This will spare their feelings and prevent any confrontation. Once you create your escape noise, be sure to continue using it before and after you escape and then periodically. It's called establishing your baseline and this is going to make this a whole lot more convincing.
- Do a limb block. The goal is to be able to roll out of the position. This means you will need a clear escape route that involves as little effort as possible––you are doing this in your sleep. First remove any arms or legs by either:
- Slowly move the limb yourself without waking them. To move a limb without your partner noticing, its going to be a single slow and methodical motion. This is going to need to be done with your eyes closed. If the other person catches you in the act, play "asleep."
- Creating an uncomfortable situation for your partner that makes him or her move that limb. If you are experiencing issues with being able to move an arm or limb, or heaven forbid are the bottom spoon in a position, it's going to be best that you make your partner as uncomfortable as possible. Then when he or she moves, you are guilt-free.
- Swiftly roll out. Roll over to an open space in the bed by tucking all of your limbs as close to your body as possible and then "rolling" in one motion to the free space. This is a commitment. Once you start to roll, you cannot abort the mission. This is a red-flag that you are awake. This will make it extremely obvious that steps one and two were purposeful and that you were trying break the "intimacy" that the spooning set out to establish.
- Get nominated for an Oscar. Once you are free in your own personal space, reaffirm that your "escape" was accidental and done because you are an absent-minded sleeper (you would never have left on purpose). Try using your baseline from step one, or even move your arm to rest near or on your partner. This is like rejecting someone by saying "it's not you, its me," they know its a half-hearted gesture but he or she will appreciate you are at least trying to be nice about it.
- If all else fails, just wake them up and explain you need to re-adjust. Possibly you may now need to read How to get over a break up.
- Try not to breathe heavily. Nothing is more unattractive when spooning than having someone panting in your ear.
- If you are trying to be intimate and tender with the person you are spooning, try kissing the top of his/her neck.
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