| How to Kiss a Girl Feb 14th 2013, 17:00 So you want to kiss this gorgeous girl — but you're not sure if she's interested, or you don't know how to smoothly go in for a kiss? Figuring out if she wants to kiss you can seem like rocket science, but there are some things you can do to up your odds of an amazing kiss. Here's how to go about it. Setting the Mood - Get her alone. This is probably the most important thing you can do to make your kiss romantic. If you try to kiss a girl in front of your friends, she'll think you're trying to show her off as a trophy. Instead, make it seem like an intimate and special moment by making sure you're alone with her. Pull her away from the pack with these tactics:
- If you're with a group, ask her to hang back with you for a minute.
- Or, if you're at a party or large gathering, you can also ask if she'd like to go outside and get some air.
- Ask if you can walk her home, whether it's from school, work, or a party.
- Or, if all else fails, ask her out on a date! That way you're guaranteed alone time.
- Set the mood. Make sure the atmosphere around you is romantic, and half of the hard work is done! Going through the effort to set up an enchanting scene communicates how you feel, as well as making it easier for her to see you in a flattering way. Here's how to do it:
- Find a softly-lit place. It's probably possible to come off as charming in broad daylight, but it's not easy. Instead, find a setting that has forgiving lighting that conveys a sense of romance. Try these ideas:
- Sunsets are considered universally romantic, especially if you have a good viewing point
- If it's a full moon, you could rely on the moonlight — you should still be able to see after your eyes adjust.
- If it's a rainy day, find shelter under a porch or in a car. The small amount of light filtering through the rain should be shimmery and soft.
- If it's dark and you're walking her home or dropping her off, rely on streetlights or porch lights for ambient lighting. For extra intimacy, though, stay just barely out of the brightest area.
- If you're camping or at a bonfire, make use of the flickering firelight! To recreate the look indoors, you can light a few candles.
- Keep the conversation focused on her. If you want a kiss any time in the next hour, steer the talk away from anything that she might find disgusting or revolting. A quick review of what to do:
- Do not talk about:
- How amazing you think other girls are. Seriously, don't ever bring this up.
- Everything that's wrong with your life/all the stuff you don't like. Complaining isn't sexy.
- Stuff that you'd discuss with your guy friends.
- Bodily functions. Ever.
- Do talk about:
- How amazing you think she is. For how to pay a great compliment.
- Her interests and thoughts. If you're ever at a loss for words, ask what she thinks about something or just say you like her hair.
- Things you two have in common, such as shared experiences or hobbies.
- Pay her an enchanting compliment. Everyone loves to be complimented, and girls are no exception. A compliment is the perfect way for you to hint that you want to kiss her, while making her feel beautiful and adored. Here's a quick primer on how to do it:
- Focus on something you genuinely like about her. If you can, try to make it something that's special and unique about her, compared to other people you know. A compliment that you truly mean will always sound better than something you make up, so choose carefully.
- Do not build your compliment around physical features such as her butt, her figure, her weight, etc. If you're going to use her looks, stick to her eyes, her hair and her smile; don't venture out of those three areas for now.
- Think about the phrasing. You could just say, "Hey, I like your smile," but that's not exactly memorable. You want the compliment to be something she remembers the exact wording of, because it made her smile. Here are some examples that are better worded:
- "Your smile is completely dazzling."
- "Your laugh is my favorite sound in the world."
- "Honestly, your eyes are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."
- Say it in a romantic way. Delivery matters — the nicest compliment in the world can fall flat if you rush or mumble. Try these methods:
- Lower the tone of your voice slightly. Doing this conveys a sense of intimacy.
- Lean in slightly when you say it. If you do this, you can also turn down the volume of your voice a bit — another trick that makes the compliment seem private.
- If you're feeling really brave, you can lean in and whisper it in her ear. Doing this is a good test for whether or not she likes having you that close to her face. If she responds well, you're probably clear to try for a kiss.
Going in for a Kiss - Test the waters. If you're unsure about whether she wants you to kiss her, try doing a few small touches first. If she seems to like having you in her space, you can move forward. Here are some possible moves, listed from least intense to more intense:
- Hold her hand. If you're walking next to her and she has her hands at her side, casually grab one. Or, if you're sitting by each other and she doesn't have her arms folded, go for it.
- Put your arm around her shoulders. No need to make a big deal about it — if she's sitting close to you, go ahead and rest your arm lightly on her shoulders. If she snuggles in closer, you can hold her more firmly.
- Go in for a hug. Hold it for four or five seconds before letting go. If she seems to like it, you can try moving in for a kiss.
- Look for signs that she's interested. Note that you won't be able to pick these up on every girl — some might be really shy and closed off about their feelings, even if they are interested in a guy. But here are some common signals that you're headed in the right direction:
- She starts conversations, makes a joke, or otherwise tries to get your attention.
- She glances at you, and quickly looks away when you see her.
- She blushes when you talk to her.
- She bites her lip.
- She licks her lips a lot. (Not in a sexy, flirty way, but unconsciously, because her lips might dry up if she is nervous).
- She leans in for more contact whenever you try to touch her.
- Her breathing and heart rate get faster when you're close.
- Break the kiss barrier. If going from a hug to a kiss on the mouth seems like too big of a leap, you can try a "small" kiss first.
- Slowly raise her hand to your mouth and lightly (that is, absolutely no spit) kiss the back of it. This seems like an old-world and chivalrous gesture, and most girls love it.
- Kiss her on the cheek. Try not to pucker and "smack" like you would if you were kissing a relative. Instead, keep your lips soft and your pressure light. If you're extra brave, you can angle downward toward the side of her mouth or up toward her ear.
- Make eye contact. Before you move in to kiss her, lock eyes. This is a clear signal that you're thinking about kissing her. If she backs away or abruptly changes the subject, hold off on the kiss. If she seems receptive, though, keep moving forward.
- Lean in slowly and pause for a second. Move your face closer to hers at a slow pace, so that she has plenty of time to back away. (Tilt your head slightly, opposite of her tilt, otherwise your nose would be in the way.) Stop just before you reach her lips.
- If she backs away or starts talking, that's a no. Don't take it too hard, and try again another time.
- If she doesn't move, that probably means you can go ahead and kiss her. (Or better yet, she might move in the last little bit and kiss you.)
- Keep your kisses light and soft (at first). This is particularly important if this is your first kiss with this girl — you don't want to seem agressive or unskilled. Lightly graze your lips over hers, keeping the pressure as soft as possible. After you've done that a few times, shift your focus to gently kissing her lower lip, so that it's between both of yours.
- Try to avoid smacking as much as possible — the sound can be distracting. If you do notice yourself smacking, you can either make your lips less puckered or swallow some saliva.
- Know where to put your hands. Don't just let your hands sit at your sides like limp noodles — use them to make your kiss even better! Here are some good places to put them:
- On the sides of her face, so that you're cupping her jaw in both of your hands.
- On the back of her head, so that they're tangled up in her hair.
- On her shoulders.
- On her waist.
- If she seems interested in the kiss but shy or timid, here's a move you can try: use your hands to grab her hands, and put them up on your shoulders. It's a quick and easy way to get her to move in closer, and makes it so that you're the one putting yourself out there and risking rejection — saving her the potential embarrassment.
- Try French kissing (optional) -- after she is accepting regular, long kisses. If you're ready to move into a more passionate liplock, you can attempt the French kissing. Gently run the very tip of your tongue over her lower lip a few times. She'll get the message, and open her mouth a bit more, if she's interested.
- Take a breather, but do it in a romantic way. As unbelievable as it sounds, you will need to take a break or stop kissing at some point. Instead of just breaking off abruptly, though, you can do it in a way that seems cute.
- Pull your lips away, but rest your forehead against hers. Stay there for a few seconds while you catch your breath.
- Pull away and put your cheek against hers, so that your mouth is next to her ear. (If you want to pay her another compliment or tell her how amazing she is, now's a good time!)
- Tangle your hands up in hers, pull away, and look into her eyes. You'll probably be grinning anyway but if you're not, smile at her.
- Leave off with a nice touch. If you're ending the kiss, try to do so with a gentle caress. Run your fingers through her hair, stroke her cheek with the back of your hand, or kiss the back of her hand. It seems like a small step, doing something like this can help end the kiss on a positive note and get her looking forward to next time.
- Make yourself as appealing as possible before the kiss. Brush your teeth, floss and use mouthwash before you see her, and keep breath mints handy while you're out. Showering, shaving, and otherwise smelling nice are also essential. Keep your braces clean, if you have them.
- Don't try to go in for a French kiss too quickly; sometimes this can startle a girl and make her feel pressured, or she could be a girl who is not comfortable with your tongue in her mouth.
- If she pulls away or wants to stop, do not go for more until later. Take a hint. Recognize that you don't (or no longer) have consent, and be sure to take no for an answer.
- Don't expect her to kiss you first. It is safer just to assume that she will not kiss you, so consider it your responsibility to find the time and place for the kiss to happen.
- If it's cold outside, that is a great opportunity because then you have an excuse to hold her close to you. While you are holding her, be face to face with her and talk to her while your faces are close to each other.
- Be courageous. She's possibly as nervous as you, so some of her signals may indicate that she's closing herself up (like arm folding and looking away) but it could be nerves. Be kind, gentle and thoughtful and go slowly. If she warms to you, it'll become obvious. However, if she says no, she means it; do not insist.
Edit Warnings - Remember to tilt your head slightly. Otherwise, your noses will collide, which will definitely create an awkward moment.
- Don't lower your hands too far down if she's not comfortable with it. Put them gently on her hips or stomach, but never on her bottom or torso until you're more intimately acquainted.
- Don't be sloppy. If she's wiping her face off afterwards, then take it easy next time.
- If she says no, or that she isn't interested, avoid taking this as a personal affront. It's her choice whether or not to respond and it is not a personal reflection on your worthiness. Sometimes you just won't click, at other times, it may feel overwhelming or too fast for her. Be patient, observant and above all, respect her wishes. Think about how you'd feel if someone started kissing you and you didn't want this to happen.
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