Feb 7, 2013

How to of the Day: How to Tell when a Girl Is Interested in You

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How to Tell when a Girl Is Interested in You
Feb 7th 2013, 20:00

Sometimes it's so obvious that a girl likes you that you just know it's the right thing to do in asking her to go out with you. Other times though, it's not a sure thing and even though you'd really like to be her guy, you're afraid to ask her how she feels in case she rejects your advances or dismisses you curtly. Knowing some of the signs that indicate a girl is interested in you can help embolden you and reassure you that it's worth giving it a try in asking her out.

Edit Steps

  1. Spend time with her before assuming anything about her. It's important to get to know her better and to give her the chance to get to know you too. Find a shared activity, like a sport, a hobby, a club, or even just hanging around chatting during lunch hour so that you can simply be around one another long enough to get the vibe. While you may be tempted to lock eyes across a crowded room and know "she's the one", it's a lot better to try and spend time around each other before letting instant attraction do all the decision-making.
  2. Look at her unconscious acts first. Body language will provide the first hints about how she sees you, so be ready to spot them. Some of the main things to look for include:
    • She will seem to stand taller, pull her shoulders back, and pull her stomach in.[1]
    • You'll see her licking her lips, touching her neck or lifting her head so that more of her neck is exposed.
    • She may lean toward you more, or move closer to you. She might lean in to whisper as an excuse to get closer.
    • Flared nostrils can be a sign of interest, although this might be hard to detect without looking a little too interested in her nose!
    • She might start playing with her hair and wiping imaginary dust off your clothes.
    • Look for the blush; that's a fairly good sign she's keen on you.
    • Watch for her touching you and mirroring your movements. These are signs too that she's interested.[2]
    • If she looks down at the ground, it may mean that she is shy and nervous to make eye contact.
  3. Listen to what she says to you. If a girl is interested in you, some of the things she says will start to give away her interest. For example, she might suddenly start to call you by a pet name and start complimenting you. Other verbal signs of interest in you include giggling, laughing at your jokes even if they're pretty lame, and asking for your help.
    • Crack a joke. It doesn't matter how bad it is; if she's interested in you, she'll laugh. If she's not into you, you'll get such responses as a steely look and no laugh at all, a pitying smile, or a condescending comment.
    • It's a really good sign if she asks you a question she could easily find the answer to herself.
  4. Watch her eyes. For starters, if you get close enough to see, you might notice her pupils dilate – they will do this if she's interested in you. Moreover, she will start to maintain eye contact and even lock eyes with you once she's interested in you. She will scan your face, do a double-take, and give you a darting glance, then a second look.[3] She may also look doe-eyed or dewy-eyed when she looks at you.
    • Take a moment during class, after studies, or whenever she's around to check out where she's looking. If she's watching you or looks at you and then quickly looks away when she spots that you've seen her, she's interested. These little glances mean that she's thinking about you, a lot. Focusing her view on you is a great sign of interest.
    • Avoid showing embarrassment about catching her glancing at you. That is the last thing she'd want to make you feel and in turn this would make her feel embarrassed. Act naturally, smile and look away to give her the space to recover.
    • Be wary if she is staring at you but not smiling, ever. This means she is not interested in you; either she is daydreaming or she's having thoughts about how to get you back for a slight she considers you've committed toward her. No smile at all means you're doing something wrong.
  5. Watch her movements around you. Is she turning up everywhere you seem to be? Is she showing a sudden interest in things that you're keen on but she's not so big on, such as your football games? If she is willing to go out of the way to an event or game she'd normally have nothing to do with, this is a big hint that she's interested in you. It gets even clearer for you if she takes the time to ask you questions about the game or about your involvement in it; that means she's definitely into you. If she compliments you on a shot or kick you made or asks you why you didn't play, it shows that she has been paying as much attention (if not more) to your individual involvement than the game itself.
  6. Notice her personality. Personality changes can be a big sign of her interest in you – look for signs such as her being bubblier, quieter, or somehow different from her usual self when she's around you. Such changes indicate nervousness in your vicinity and this nervousness is a sign she has a crush on you.
    • Sit down next to her at lunch, or during an activity, totally out of the blue. This will mean that she doesn't have the time to prepare herself to meet you and her flustered responses will tell you a lot about her feelings for you.
    • If she's showing off around you, that's a sure sign she likes you and is trying to impress you.
  7. Strike up a conversation about things that she is interested in. Even if she is shy, try and draw her out by asking her about her own interests. If she seems comfortable talking to you about herself and about her interests and points of view with you, this might indicate that she is keen on you. If she shares opinions and comments with you in a way that suggests she is being careful not to sound too strident, bossy, or opinionated, this could mean that she's toning down her usual bravado to encourage you to take an interest in her.
    • Does she talk to you more than she talks to other people (anybody not obviously a friend)? If she's usually not extremely talkative, and usually waits for someone else to start a conversation, it's a good sign for you! It means she's trying hard to gain your attention.
  8. Test her. If she's hanging around with other girls or male friends, there are a few things you can try to see how she responds:
    • Go up to her when her friends are all around her. If they suddenly disperse to leave the "two of you alone together", it means she has already told them she likes you and has asked them to scram should you come along.
    • Compliment other girls when you talk to her. If she responds icily or visibly blanches or stiffens, you've just brought out her jealousy, which means she likes you for herself. Don't keep her in this state; brush off the compliment as something vague and come back with a compliment twice as good directed at her alone.
    • Wave and say hello when you see her talking to another guy. If she appears flustered, uncomfortable, or looks down, this may be a sign that she's not happy about you thinking that she likes this guy over you. If she didn't have any response or simply waved back vaguely, this would indicate that she's not that interested into you. Also realize that she may be more shy around you than she is around guys she considers to be "just friends".
    • See if she looks to you for your reaction when she is talking about things with others, especially with other guys. This can be a sign that she cares more about how you react than about the other people she's talking to.
  9. Listen to your own senses. How do you feel when you're around her? Do you feel happy, giddy, and excited? Does she make you feel good about yourself and do you feel like you want to spend more time around her? These are good signs that you're feeling good about her and that you're happy to contemplate asking her to be your girlfriend.
  10. Pluck up the courage and tell her that you like her. You've had all the indications above, and you've decided the feelings are mutual and you'd really like her to be your girlfriend. The next logical step is to own up to liking her enough to want to be her boyfriend and to hope that she'll respond in kind.
    • Don't beat yourself up if she says no. Sometimes you'll get all the signals because a girl is naturally flirty with everyone. She isn't doing it to be mean, it's just who she is and you'll need to keep looking!
    • Also if she says no she could be very nervous, confused or playing hard to get. She could also be having some problems at home or with a parent who doesn't want their child to have a boyfriend (It's most typically the father). She might simply not be ready.
    • Know beforehand if she already has a date. That could make life very complicated unless you're prepared to be the cause of a rupture in that relationship! If she's not keen on exclusive relationships, find this out as soon as possible before you end up being hurt.

Edit Video

Edit Tips

  • Don't string out asking her too long. If she gets cold or disinterested vibes from you, she'll start steeling herself for the worst and will eventually lose interest in you in order to self-protect from possible hurt. Take a little time to be sure she is interested and that you're interested in her but then get to it and ask her out!
  • Girls can be too shy to ask you out. Even in an age where it's considered fine for girls to do the asking, a lot of girls will wait because there is a certain romance attached to the idea of the guy doing the asking. It also helps her to know that you're serious when you take the initiative to ask; remember that if you're afraid of rejection, so is she.
  • Flirting a little before telling her you like her can give you a good idea of her responsiveness. Pretend to brush against her to see how she responds. Or play footsies with her and see if she plays back. Hug her and see how she reacts. If she wants another hug, it shows that she enjoys your closeness.
  • If you intend on giving a girl a gift when you want to show that you like her, keep it small and unique, like a love note, a single rose, a bracelet, or something she can wear.
  • If you never ask a girl out because you can't be certain she's interested in you, you'll stay single all your life. What an unhappy prospect that sounds! So do it, ask her and realize that sometimes there will be rejection and other times there will be a resounding yes!
  • If she gives you things, this is a sign she likes you. It could be cards, badges, stamps, small items, tickets, etc., just as long as she attaches significance to the gifting.
  • If you are clever with it, observational humour is a good way to strike up a conversation.
  • If her friends come and talk to you, about her or about your previous past love life, she most likely sent them to make herself sound more appealing and attractive. (Sometimes, it is an obvious hint that she wants you to talk to her.)
  • Girls like it when they get to talk to you alone, especially if they are shy, because they won't have to worry about what someone else will think of them whilst they are talking to you.
  • Don't try too hard. You might think she'd prefer a guy who acts in a certain way but change your normal approach and you're likely to just freak her out and her wondering what's gone wrong with you! Don't fake anything; just be yourself.
  • When having a conversation together, don't pressure her. Just treat the conversation as a normal one, and act as natural as possible.
  • Be careful of which words you use when complimenting a girl; the type of compliment you give depends on the girl. While some girls like being called "hot," other prefer being called "beautiful" and may take offense to being called "hot," or vice versa. Just use your judgment when you compliment her.
  • If her friends are gathering information about you, like phone numbers, address, times you're attending sports events, etc., this is a red alert that she's interested in you. Friends will do a lot to help a girl get her guy!
  • In this age with social media and all you can also look for signs of her interest on something she tweets or makes her status. Often if she makes it a title of a song that has lyrics related to a situation that you two were involved in this could be a sign that she shows interest in you as she was still thinking about you afterwards, and the song reminded her of you.
  • When a girl is really interested in you she will not be afraid to go to your house and get you to hangout or talk. If she has friends around you then she also feels safe around you. This is a very good sign she is interested.

Edit Warnings

  • Don't compliment on something weird, such as "You open your locker really fast" . This might make the girl think you're weird. Of course, if this is your type of humor, then go for it, and if she thinks you're weird, you aren't for her.
  • Be wary of girls that do not know what they want. If they say that they like you and then take it back, they are indecisive. Waiting for someone like this for too long will only cause you pain and will make you lose time that could have been used to find someone that actually likes you. If they don't know what they want, you don't want to spend time filling that gap until they do know.
  • Only compliment a girl if the compliment itself is true. For example, never say "Hey, I like your shirt" if you do not actually like the shirt. It's better to say nothing at all, or look for something else to compliment.
  • Never confess that you like her in front of others. If she rejects you, you'll both be embarrassed. And she might just be shy to admit it. It's a good idea not to tell your friends, nor family who you love before you tell the girl you love her first.
  • Don't confess your undying love to her or send her poems unless you're dating seriously. This might push her away from you and might come out too strong. Try something along the lines of "You're really fun to be around, do you wanna hang out sometime? On Friday I'm going to..." and go from there.
  • Be funny but not at her expense. If you want to be mean, sarcastic, and weird, no matter how interested in you she seems, she won't be for much longer.
  • Don't be a stalker. That's creepy and there are laws about that kind of behavior.
  • If you're full of yourself and she works this out quickly, watch her interest drop just as fast. Be considerate, thoughtful, and kind and she'll respond likewise.
  • Avoid rushing her. While holding the girl's hand or putting your hands around her waist may seem like a nice thing to do, make sure that she feels the same way or you may offend her. It is very important not to rush things, since you risk the girl's opinion of you. Do not forcefully take her hand or touch her. If she is showing signs of irritation, immediately stop touching her, or she may think that you are possessive and controlling.
  • Don't try to kiss someone without asking unless you are one hundred percent sure they're in the moment, too. If you jump on a person that doesn't want to be kissed, you could very well end up with a black eye. Plus, it will be incredibly awkward the next day if you are rejected, especially if she decides to tell her friends. On the other hand, if you're really sure she's into you, you could try kissing her out of nowhere. Softly and slowly to gauge her reaction, though. If you lean in and she turns her face or starts talking, then stop. If you kiss a girl that likes you out of nowhere, she might find it incredibly romantic and heart pounding.
  • Don't ask your friends to find out if she likes you. She'll probably sense something weird and think you're playing games with her.

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