| How to Ignore Insults Oct 4th 2012, 16:00 Feel insulted? How do you deal when someone says something that hurts, makes you angry, or is intended to make you look foolish? Rather than shrink into the ground or say something that simply provokes things, try these steps! - Don't react. Keep your expression completely neutral, and just shake your head.
- Ask this person why he or she is attacking you. This assumes that it's an unprovoked attack (that is, you didn't do something to anger or upset them that you're aware of).
- Accept responsibility for your actions. If this person does manage to answer, and his or her reason actually makes sense, address the problem right then. While this may be difficult, you have to be honest with yourself. You will gain respect for your directness. For example:
- You: "What did I do to deserve that?"
- Him: "You snubbed me yesterday, walking by all high and mighty with your friends, pretending like I wasn't there."
- You: "I did?" (Look surprised). "Dude, I don't remember it. Are you sure I saw you?"
- Him: "You looked right at me, jerk."
- You: "Really? You know what, we were talking about (insert subject here) and I was really focused on that. I don't even think I realized you were there. Listen, I'm really sorry for that, I didn't mean to snub you. Let me go get those guys, I know they're going to feel bad, too." Bring your friends over, explain how your actions hurt this person, and apologize. Try to get all of them to apologize too, if you can.
- Be aware that anger, hurt and insecurity are the root of most insults. If you hurt someone, even unintentionally, they may respond with angry insults, especially if they are not very good at communicating their real wants and needs. Moreover, insecure people tend to call attention to the shortcomings of others (even if untrue) in order to cover up for their own perceived inadequacies (it's just easier that way). Don't retaliate––by not taking it personally, you can just let it all slide off like water from the duck's back.
- Respond with humor. If you aren't at fault, and it's a random insult attack, responding with humor can sometimes disarm the insulter. For example, if someone calls you a porker or something like that, you might say "Really? I like to think of myself as a sublimely well proportioned fatso." Or, "Why thank you, I love pigs!" cheerfully. That will often get the person insulting you to stop, out of sheer surprise at your audacity.
- Walk away. If you've tried to figure out why this person is targeting you, and can find no reason, and you've tried to joke with him or her to no avail, and he or she is still bent on humiliating and insulting you, just leave. And until he or she picks a new target (and this will happen), avoid the person.
- Dignified ways to walk away include saying nothing or saying something like "Hey, deal breaker! (Smile.) I've got to be off now!", "Okay, my line in the sand has been crossed. See you later.", or simply "You'll have to excuse me."
- Let the bully end up looking bad for the insult. Many times, you really don't have to do much to make this happen. Just taking the insult, smiling and shrugging, or responding very mildly can do the trick, and it can turn the tide of public opinion in your favor. For example:
- Bully: "Hey dork. Is it hard to find such dorky clothes, or do you just come by them naturally?"
- You: (In a quiet, humble voice.) "Actually, these clothes were my older cousin's. Since my dad lost his job, our family hasn't had much money for clothes, so we have to make do with what we can get. I know they're sort of the height of fashion from 5 years ago, aren't they? Not really very hip. But whatever. We can't afford anything else."
- Bully: (Sneering.) "Aw. Poor waddle baby can't get any better clothes. Wah. You're breaking my heart. Not."
- You: (Staying humble.) "I wasn't looking for sympathy. You asked a question and I answered." (Hopefully others are overhearing this.)
- Bully: "If I were you, I'd tell my folks to either get me some decent clothes or send me to another school."
- You: (Sigh) "I really feel bad for my dad and don't want to make him feel worse. So I'm not going to ask for anything for myself right now. In fact, I'm looking for a job, to try and help with expenses for my family."
- Others: "Yeah. Leave him/her alone, man. S/he's not doing anything to you."
- Bully: "Oh, fine. You can all have a little pity party with that poor crybaby. I'm out of here."
- And that will probably end that round of insulting, at least in that way. When others join in and defend you, the bully will seek an easier target, one where he feels more sure of finding allies. Bullies don't generally like to stand on their own two feet––they like feeling like a lot of people are behind them. They bully people because when others chime in, as it makes them feel better about themselves somehow. When others don't want to join them, they back off, even if it means losing face.
- Bullies are often insecure people and if they are tormenting you, do not respond with humor near his or her friends instead of retaliating with an insult.
- If your best efforts to take the wind out of their sails fail, warn others to expect random insults from that person.
- Don't take it personally. Some people are just mean.
- Don't insult them back. It just adds fuel to the fire.
- If you're asked why the guy/girl is acting like that toward you, say honestly that you don't know. Don't trash talk them to anyone. In that way, you look like an innocent, injured person.
- Smirking, acting superior or completely ignoring them is probably not a good idea. Again, react with humor, it usually works best. If the insulter is just being nasty, you can ignore them.
- Show them your never been affected by whatever they doing to you. Act like they are invisible all the time, you can't recognize them, and let them bother nothing. A day will come when they may stop chasing after you and feel like losers.
- Encourage yourself to do better than before. They will feel sorry about themselves and prefer to be your friend instead. Accept them but never trust them. It might be their way to try to pull you down.
Edit Warnings - If you do respond, even to apologize, and the harassment continues, beware of bullies. Some people are not content to simply verbally harass you. If it escalates to a point where you fear they're going to get physical, tell someone. Tell a teacher, a friend, or your parents. They can help.
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